Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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