reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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