I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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