No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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