My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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