I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just cut my nipple shaving
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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