It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize