I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize