uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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