you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize