Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize