I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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