i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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