you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Two words: blizzard sex
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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