How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize