So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Also, beer. Big fan.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize