it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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