1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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