why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize