Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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