So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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