Where is the hickey?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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