Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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