i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize