All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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