i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize