god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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