He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize