My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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