I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
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It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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