I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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