UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
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Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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