Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize