At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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