just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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