I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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