First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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