After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize