I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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