Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize