so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize