Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"

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  (914): i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie" http://tfl.nu/2g0i
  Replies (11) Good night (688) Bad night (1466) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  i would punch a child for taco bell

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  (706): i would punch a child for taco bell http://tfl.nu/lkky
  Replies (41) Good night (5393) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.

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  (815): someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd. http://tfl.nu/btmz
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (2046) Order T-Shirt
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  (453): View more from

  apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.

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  (453): apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it. http://tfl.nu/3val
  Replies (15) Good night (560) Bad night (3960) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...

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  (918): My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it... http://tfl.nu/dlfs
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (4406) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

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  (480): the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy. http://tfl.nu/p73q
  Replies (17) Good night (5415) Bad night (572)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Everybody was literally kung fu fighting

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  (803): Everybody was literally kung fu fighting http://tfl.nu/75ca
  Replies (33) Good night (10385) Bad night (732) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i think girls just don't want to fuck you

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  (908): the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father (973): i think girls just don't want to fuck you http://tfl.nu/fr5s
  Replies (31) Good night (2045) Bad night (5942)
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  (760): View more from California

  Why is your vibrator in the fridge?

  (1-760): View more from California

  I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.

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  (760): Why is your vibrator in the fridge? (1-760): I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there. http://tfl.nu/7etk
  Replies (40) Good night (6762) Bad night (1207) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

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  (734): I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed http://tfl.nu/ut1d
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.

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  (207): I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table. http://tfl.nu/sbpv
  Replies (4) Good night (480) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?

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  (518): Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings? http://tfl.nu/b1ds
  Replies (3) Good night (629) Bad night (453) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm

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  (416): also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm http://tfl.nu/isvl
  Replies (13) Good night (346) Bad night (1559)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of

  (514): View more from Quebec

  of drugs

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  (514): Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of (514): of drugs http://tfl.nu/70rd
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (216)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.

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  (719): The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies. http://tfl.nu/1axa
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (104)

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