Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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