How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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