OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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