Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize