The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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