summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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