im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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