Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
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Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
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Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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